My grandparents house after the “Mining City Trail of Tears”, (AKA the McQueen relocation) was an incredible meeting place. There was always family, both blood, and ‘adopted. It was always incredible growing up, driving up to their house and spotting new cars, seeing Butte plates, Montana plates I didn’t recognize, and several out of state plates. New faces, familiar faces, beautiful people.
I can tell you without hesitation, the plate that I longed to see in my grandparents driveway as far back as I can remember, was on an unassuming two tone stationwagon…
It read … PANEEK.
I would love to sit here and tell you even at the age of 5, I was ecstatic to see him because of his worldly knowledge, and enlightening discussions (that came later). No, at 5 we salivated when we saw Paneek because it meant money, not going to lie. He would give us 50 cent pieces everytime he was at the house and as any 5 yr. old will tell you, you love anyone who gives you money.
I still remember fondly a 4th of July when it seemed our whole family was together. Frank sat myself and my cousins down on the concrete back steps of my gram’s house, he reached into his back pocket, pulled out an envelope, and produced from it several 2 dollar bills., lucky 2 dollar bills mind you. He had one for each of us, printed in the year of our birth. That bill hasn’t left my wallet since that day. Which is incredible in its own right, because I lose Everything… Nothing is safe. Granted I’ve had several Bruce Willis “Pulp Fiction, watch-like freak-outs”, when I’ve thought its gone, but incredibly it’s still with me.
That bill was with me for some of the greatest times of my life… It walked the aisle with me for my wedding, it was in St.John’s several years later for the baptism of my daughter… Full disclosure, it was not in the room for the birth of my daughter… I know., it was in the building., (does that count?) When I changed into scrubs, I DID NOT take it with me.. and maybe that is why my girl is ‘normal’ not “Panisko Bat Guano crazy.”
It has also been with me for some of the hardest damn things I’ve ever had to do.
For those that know me well, you know I don’t burn many calories worrying about what people think about me. But there is a mental list of people that I really do care about their perception of me, whether I make them happy, proud… whatever. I’m telling you right now, the Panisko brothers are 2 that I worry about all the time, Frank and my grandfather Raymond.
Paneek…
what would this town be like if Frank Panisko didn’t call it home, if he didn’t love this valley like he did. I don’t think I ever want to know. The amount of work he did for our town, to put smiles on peoples faces, was staggering… As kids he used us for sounding boards when he was over, “Kids! Do you think this would be cool in the parade? How about this.?” He would take advice and help from anyone, and he had no idea what the word NO meant.
There are parts of me that want to absolutely scream in rage about what’s happening to Paneek’s legacy with Butte Celebrations. But I also realize that maybe those shoes were just too big to fill, maybe. I certainly know its not a pair of shoes that I want to lace up. It’s funny to me, every year I get people who approach me and tell me I should ‘take over Butte Celebrations’. I know I’m in no position to do so, It is a full time job (and then some)and well… I have a good one of those already.
Molly and I have talked several times about Frank, about how she looks up to Frank and thinks about him, which I can sympathize with wholeheartedly, but I just don’t think Molly can sit in front of the mirror, and honestly tell herself that Frank would be pleased with the direction and mistrust associated with Butte Celebrations as of late.
First I can’t make excuses for the DUI’s, in my opinion those are just unacceptable. Period… That needs to be addressed ASAP. And addressed not only in a court of law but also in the scope of the position she holds.
I run through the full gambit of emotions when I think about it. As far as Butte Celebrations goes, I do have sympathy. I truly believe to make memorable parades, and functions it takes a ton of work, and money. Also community help and support, and it feels like there is a serious separation between Butte Celebrations and the bulk of local business people, but saying that, I also believe that banged up bridge can be shored up quickly.
And that brings us to the other ‘rub’ , the complete mistrust, when it comes to dropping a few bucks in the bucket come parade time. Which I would think could be remedied quite easily. Be upfront and honest about the funds it takes to run these events, and the amount of money brought in…period! Get a group of caring people on a Volunteer Board and move forward.
Because I’m sorry there have been several steps… Leaps, backwards for years.
We all know how wonderful these events can be. I just hope we can take that first step forward, even if it’s a small step at first. We can worry about running when we have the full force of Butte Pride behind Butte Celebrations once again.
It just takes an honest look in the mirror, the ability to swallow ones pride and ask for a helping hand off the street. That’s real easy to say, but far harder to do. Asking for help is never easy, especially when a person has to bare their soul, admit to their pasts, and try to put it behind them.
Maybe the face staring back in the mirror doesn’t have the intensity anymore, maybe the eyes just don’t want to fight anymore, especially when is obvious this fight is destined for 12 rounds, 12 ugly rounds to have a chance to turn this around . If that fight is going to be too hard, too uncomfortable, maybe a new fighter is needed, someone to relight the torch for Butte. I’ll sure as hell tell you this Paneek never would have let the fire on that torch burn so low, so close to extinguishing.
We are blessed with an incredible community, we see so many great people do so much for all of us without asking for a thing in return, and its always been that way, and will continue to be the case for generations to come. I’m partial, but in my opinion the greatest champion we have ever had, the guy who loved us all, kids, teens, adults, seniors, alike… drove a 2 tone brown station wagon with PANEEK on the plates.
-p-
